that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
