I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
