I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
not ubering you a puppy
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
