Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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