Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize