We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
