If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
