This girl is more easily done than said...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
