WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
