2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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