are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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