I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize