the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
