I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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