I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
