my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
