Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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