there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize