I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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