I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
