Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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