saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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