I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
