Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
