Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
