ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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