I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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