is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
