I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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