just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
