My first STD was from a foam party
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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