So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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