Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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