now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize