oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
