Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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