bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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