someone threw a dead crab at me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
