I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
