they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just high enough for therapy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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