then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
