You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
