I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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