dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
