I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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