just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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