The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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