i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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