Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
how drunk are you?
Several
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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