Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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