do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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