Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
