Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
