ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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