how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
