Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
