"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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