Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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