doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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