Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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