If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
