just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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