afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
