Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
