I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
