Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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