So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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