Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
