somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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