She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
