i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize