he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
