she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
