You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
